I wrote this back in May, anticipating where I would be at this point, and it really is a good reminder for me. Each week of postpartum recovery has me feeling better, but also struggling again with remembering the important parts of this vocation. Check out my devotion on today’s daily Mass readings at Blessed is She:
———————–
I have been a mother for seven years now, which is from when my first child came into existence. It was something I felt called to do, something I wanted, and something that I am glad to be. But there are days when I wonder why I thought this would be fulfilling.
As I anticipated the birth of my fourth baby, I started to dread the sacrifices that a new baby requires of me. The middle of the night feedings, the discomfort of milk coming in, the post-partum recovery, and so on, which all made sense given the months of undiagnosed post-partum depression I went through after my third baby was born. But now that I know how to get help for that, I realized that I was being filled with a lot of irrational fears and even spiritual attacks on my vocation…