I have been neglecting this monthly themed post, but I am going to do it for May. This month I am going to talk about each kid and what I love about them. 🙂
With the baby F, I delight in her little face and happy smile. I love how she curls up into my lap when she nurses to sleep. I love her little way of grabbing food off her tray and trying it out with her mouth. Her sisters talk about how she is angry when she tries a new food, because her expression is always a quizzical frown. I love when she can’t stop smiling whenever one of her sisters is looking at her and how they make her laugh more than M or I do. I even love how she needs me and how being worn in a sling is all she wants. I love how when her sisters play games with her, she can’t stop giggling and then all three are giggling together. I love waking up with her squealing next to me every morning. I am not sure why I disliked co-sleeping so much with the other two, but with F it is really sweet.
For L, she is my sweet 2.5 year old. I love that she is cuddly now that she is older, and will behave in Church if she is able to sit on my lap and be held by me. I love that her favorite breakfast is a piece of bread with butter (we were fighting her for weeks to eat cereal and milk before we discovered this). I wish I could take her to a store without her escaping the cart or screaming to get out, but that is not the two year old way, so I suppose I love the humility of having a screaming child whenever I shop. I love the way she does the Sign of the Cross (it is too random to describe in words) and how she does the “mea culpa” chest pounds perfectly. I love that whenever she talks about the past it always starts with, “Yesterday…” even when the event was weeks ago. I especially love her cheeks; they are so squeezable! I love how she knows just how to torment her big sister, but does it because she loves her. I love that she loves to play with G and wants to participate in all the pre-school activities.
And my first baby, four year old G, I find myself reminiscing about our time when she was the only baby. She was always good at the store, because she had my full attention. We took two naps a day together (or I would just lay next to her with a good book). I think F looks a lot like G as a baby and that must be why I am remembering her babyhood so much. I love that G is becoming more confident in drawing. She draws bodiless people, just heads, faces, and limbs and very detailed flowers; she had a lot of trouble with the fine motor skills when she was a toddler, so I love it whenever she draws or writes anything. I love how she is a good helper (when she chooses), and can clear her own place. I love how she is developing her own ideas and telling us what she thinks, “Sleeping Beauty is quite the story.” I love how she memorizes most stories, poems, and songs she hears. I love how she sings to herself whenever she is alone.
I am not sure exactly what changed or when it happened, but I am finally happy again. With my three babies I have gone into a post-partum funk, this last one it was a diagnosed post-partum depression, but besides that where I just do not feel like myself. I am fairly certain it is not a lower level of stress, because this whole moving thing is stressful. It is not the ease of taking care of three kids, because I definitely do not find that easy. But I am focusing on trying to love them and let go of my ideas of how things should be. I am learning greater patience and self-sacrifice. I am so happy I have my sweet girls, and so happy that I am finally able to enjoy them.