My philosopher mom friend suggested that I name this post, “It’s an individual substance of a rational nature.” I can’t escape the philosophers!
I know that publicly announcing a pregnancy at seven weeks along with a due date that is not until the beginning of next June might make people feel a wee bit uncomfortable, but I really cannot keep blog silence about it anymore.
You may be aware that yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. But you may not be aware that today is the feast of St. Gerard Majella, patron of expectant mothers. How beautiful that the days fall right next to each other. We have been praying especially to St. Gerard this pregnancy, from the very beginning of its possibility.
On Monday we had an ultrasound. I was in trepidation of this ultrasound for weeks, but also really thankful for all of the symptoms I have been having no matter how uncomfortable they have made me. For the record, they have not been that bad yet. Despite the lingering all day “morning” sickness, I have not once actually gotten sick. It is a struggle to eat
certain all vegetables. I have been pregnant enough times to know how to not push my limit and figure out what I can get to my stomach without too much trouble (pizza, Chinese food, potato chips…there are some healthy things, I promise). I even have been eating salad (smothered in sweet raspberry vinaigrette). And the thought of cooking and eating dinner is wholly unappetizing.
Back to the ultrasound. I could not face the 20 minute drive to our family clinic alone. The last time I drove in for an early ultrasound was the day we found out that JP was no longer alive. I did not want to see this baby alone. So, we dropped the kids off with a friend, and M drove.
After checking in a waiting about three minutes we headed back to the ultrasound room with the tech. After a little talk about dates and whatnot she turned out the light and began the scan.
|The arrow is pointing to the baby.|
I stared anxiously at the screen waiting to see something, and the tech immediately said, “Do you see the baby’s heartbeat?” And there it was fluttering at 145 BPM in the tiny little body just beginning to have arms and legs and hands. The baby was alive and well. Tears filled my eyes as I gripped M’s hand, and I felt so relieved that this baby was still with us, that this baby might be born in eight months time. Since the ultrasound my “morning” sickness has been in full force (still no physical evidence of it, thankfully), but this baby really is making itself know!
And now we wanted to share it with all of you, and ask your prayers for the health of our baby and my health. Your prayers carried us through the loss of JP, and I am so thankful that I can ask you once again to pray for a tiny little baby of ours.
I want to share with any expectant mothers and those hoping to have another baby a wonderful order of monks. The Transalpine Redemptorists in Scotland have a first class relic of St. Gerard, and if you send them an email or a letter they are more than happy to touch a small piece of fabric to the relic and send you in the mail a third class relic of St. Gerard. They do ask that you donate the cost of shipping, but are happy to mail it either way. It comes on a long enough ribbon to tie around your ribcage, and I have been in the habit of keeping it in my pillowcase (that is why it is wrinkly). The relic and sacramental serves as a good reminder to ask for the intercession of the patron of mothers and expectant mothers, as well as having physical contact with a holy saint in Heaven.