Category: Uncategorized

my 2.5 year old can tell you…

Pentecost.

Today G. insisted on bringing her parrot to the grocey store. She keeps on insisting he is an owl. Her carseat came with a cup holder that does not hold any of her cups very well, but does hold Jack the Parrot. However, on the way to the store she informed me:
“Mom! Jack won’t stop squirming in his seat!”
I told her to tell him to sit still.
“Do you want to sit on my lap?” She asked her parrot. “Yes, I do!” The parrot replied.
So, Jack sat still on her lap the rest of the way to the store.

This incident is quite similar to what goes on between G. and her father every evening during nighttime prayers. Except a certain little girl is quite squirmy no matter where she sits…

Yes, I can’t help it. I like to cook and things I like are creeping their way onto this blog. I also happen to have a husband who likes food, not just any food, but good food. He procrastinates by looking up fancy restaurants and telling me all sorts of strange things to make for him. So, that is why this blog will now feature cooking and pictures of really good homemade food. 🙂

I am thinking about putting a post up on Active Participation in the Liturgy based on the Vatican II documents based off a paper a wrote while working on my Masters. Would anyone be interested?

Also, I was thinking of typing up my reasons for veiling in the presence of the Eucharist if anyone would like to know those as well. Just a few blog ideas. Let me know in the comments.

That is what I have resorted to: parenting that is S-L-O-P-P-Y. A really funny looking word. I woke up last night to the baby crying in my arms and trying to roll over. I was sitting in my rocking chair. It was 2:46am. I had gotten out of bed to nurse her at 1:48am. This was definitely a first. This is what I gloated about not having to do when we were co-sleeping. But after 3 months of that we all stopped sleeping and we moved her to a bassinet and now pack-n-play; I get to sleep in whatever position I want now, when I get to sleep. I wonder how many parents get to this point and wonder what the heck they are doing wrong; but I have tried different sleep solutions and I think it is just a matter of time (and getting over this annoying cold). I guess the only answer is to drink a little more coffee and go to bed at 10pm instead of 11pm.

The thing is this sloppy parenting is not just a nighttime phenomenon, it has creeped into the daytime parenting as well. To the point that I put the toddler in her room until lunch after she put her feet on the baby’s head; yesterday she poked the baby’s eyes with her toes and got a long timeout in her crib. The sloppy parenting can be seen in the sloppy living room, and my inability to put on cute clothes this morning (something I try to do everyday to keep myself feeling like a real person).

Though I suppose the haze I live in right now will become easier and possibly clear up once we no longer have this cold. Maybe the children will sleep well again; maybe I will get the baby to go back to sleep this afternoon and she will sleep better tonight.

I am just reminding myself that in order to have disciplined, well-behaved children I need to hold myself to an even higher standard. It is time for me to get over my lack of sleep, stop my sloppy parenting and have a stronger will than that of my children who do not know what is best for them; and lovingly and gently encourage their sleep and good behavior and stay firm in my resolution. Why do Lenten resolutions so often turn into Easter laziness?

An earlier Spring, a warmer Winter, and a later Fall. Enough said.

I am not sure if I really miss the hotter Summer that much, but I still miss the Cardinal baseball.

Some of you may have read this:

“Why Chinese Mothers are Superior” By Amy Chua from the Wall Stree Journal:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704111504576059713528698754.html?mod=WSJ_hp_mostpop_read

Here is my initial response. I plan to write more on it later.

Chua is defending the way she raised her kids, but it does not seem like she is necessarily condemning those who raise children differently. There is a cultural difference; the way Westerners raise kids comes from the individualistic philoso…phy that was there at the founding of our country. I think a lot of the way Westerners raise their kids are excessive and are not the best for their children. Raising children to be virtuous holy people is hard work and discipline is a necessary aspect.

We are not allowing our children to watch TV or play computer games. First, we do not own a TV nor do we want to, and second I don’t think there is anything on TV that I want my children to watch that is not saturated with philosophies and ideas that I disagree with. I also do not want to be tempted to use the TV to “babysit” my kids. I want them to be able to entertain themselves. Gemma will sit and read books for up to 30 minutes sometimes and she is only 21 months old. We will show them certain movies when they are older, but there is no need now.

Also, I want our children to learn to be disciplined; this will lead to a virtuous life. I know that these are things I need to work on to. I think that the Chinese discipline, while it may get extreme, is probably better for building virtue than Western leniency.

And apparently this blog is officially neglected. I have a post I saved back in July that I never finished. Since I last put up a real post, I have gone through 9 months of pregnancy and 6 weeks with a new baby! Yay!

So, now we have two little girls; one currently sleeping on my lap and the other in her crib. My main reason for writing it to discuss the adjustment of G. to our second child L.

G. was only 20.5 months when L. was born. Maybe we could have prepared her more for the several day separation, but when I went into labor 2.5 weeks early and we sent her to a friends house I was not entirely convinced that I really was in labor. She spent the two days I was away playing with one of her friends and being cared for by adults she knew well. The second night she even had Mark to take care of her. When she came to see me in the hospital, she first sat silent on my lap eating my snacks and then started playing with Mark’s mom whom she had not seen in 6 months and completely ignoring me.

When we came home with L., G. was a different child than I had remembered. She had been happy, smiling, and enjoyed playing alone; she was then clingy to me, crying all the time, and wanting constant attention. I loved having a newborn, but had a really hard time with how it affected G. The first night home I cried, because G. was so different. I missed my happy little girl. One night that first week I put G. down for bed (I had not been, because of labor recovery and I needed to pick her up to put her in her crib). As we rocked in the chair I started crying again, and then I started giving her kisses on her head and she started kissing me back and soon we were kissing and giggling; my little girl was still the same. I had glimpses of her old self as the weeks went by, and I think she is finally getting used to the change of not being the only child. She is more and more like her old self and hopefully will soon be less and less whiny.

G. also wants to do everything L. is doing; such as when L. is being burped she wants to be burped or burps her baby doll. The best story is how G. “nurses” Baby Jesus from the nativity set while I am nursing L. Or when L. is having tummy time, G. lays next to her and tries to have tummy time also, and I have to sit nearby or L. will get kicked in the head. Today we were “play toys” (G.’s words) with L. by holding them in front of her. G. thinks this is the greatest thing, even though L. completely ignores it for the most part.

As for me, I need to work to give G. the attention she needs, but also help her learn about sharing her mom with her sister. I have noticed that with G., if I play with her first thing in the morning and right away after nap, she is much happier playing alone later. She just needs to be reminded that she is still loved and that mom still has time for her. And with time, my hope is that my girls will soon be each others favorite people, and that we will all be helping each other become better and holier. 🙂

The title of this post is slightly Cartesian. Apparently Descartes is “the fishes,” or so my husband tells me. I am not sure what that means, but he has been reading more about Descartes recently so I am sure it means something.

Today I told my boss that I will be leaving my job before the fall semester starts. Probably by August. It is freeing and sad for me. I think that I have really learned to appreciate and care for the people I work with. Even the elderly lady who comes in once a week and has always annoyed me-I finally found the best way to interact with her and to appreciate her help in the office. One of my coworkers is a sweetie to my daughter and I know I am really going to miss her and she is really going to miss us. Another one is very practical and has good opinions about liturgy and the Church, though I do not see her very often. My boss has been wonderful and so supportive of bringing a baby into the office, and she totally understands why it is time for us to leave the position.

The next issue is what am I going to do with all my time? The main reason for leaving is for the sake of my daughter; she needs more interaction that I cannot always give her while I work. I know she is still really young, but I would like to start focusing on pre-pre-homeschooling and homeschooling research. I also plan on volunteering at my old job once a week, more so that my daughter and the wonderful ladies there will still get to see each other. They are like adoptive aunts for her and even me with my parents out of town. I will need to use my time wisely and I really do hope to dabble in theology again. So, that is about it for now.

I just wanted to say that I am ridiculously excited about Advent this year. I kind of wish I thought of it as more penitential, but the time of preparation and waiting excites me. I think it is because the importance of the liturgical season of Advent was impressed upon me as a child. We never put up our tree until a few days before Christmas and sometimes did not even decorate it until Christmas Eve. We also did not listen to Christmas music until Christmas Eve. It was all very exciting when it finally came.

Instead we did the Jesse Tree readings daily, had and Advent Calendar, and lit our Advent wreath at dinner every night. M. and I are doing the same things now that we have a family together. I am realizing the importance of having these traditions to mark the different liturgical seasons of year and the specific holy days. I think because I have done them my whole life, Advent would not seem the same without these traditions. M. and I hope to implement traditions in all the important seasons. I wonder if doing something as simple as eating Italian when it is an Italian saint’s day would be a good way to honor a saint’s day.

It seems that there is a human need for these sorts of things, and it is expressed the way certain people excessively decorate for different seasons and holidays. I could explore this more here, but I don’t quite have my thoughts together and do not want to claim extreme points of view without a clearer way to express them. The basic idea is that the Church’s liturgical year satisfies a human need for the cycle of the year, the changes of season, the sacramental value of decorations in the home, work place, stores, and places of worship. They are all connected and are much more than physical decorations. They speak to the whole person. What would Advent be without the sign of the wreath and the empty manger? A lot of people live without that. For them Advent is Christmas decorations and it ends with the presents. For the Church, Advent is the waiting and the time of Christmas is longer. As the four seasons change, so do the liturgical seasons pass on, and we remember and wait for the Lord to come again.